Yelling at clouds
There’s this place between where I grew up and where I live now. Just past where my uncle is buried and before I have to stop to charge my car. It’s only me, the vast open skies of the High Desert and oncoming traffic. A metaphorical liminal space between my past and present.
It’s a place where I file all my grievances. If I believed in a maker, I’d speak to it here. I turn down the radio and let the road noise pass over me.
In this place, I scream as loudly as my body will physically allow me. I scream about all the things I have held in since the last time I passed through. All my resentments, fears, insecurities, they all get their chance to shine here. My righteous anger gets a moment to finally be heard.
It feels like the only place on Earth where it’s okay for me to express things in this visceral way. A place where no one can judge me.
As traffic slows down, I wipe the tears off my face and the sweat from my brow. I breathe heavy and hold space for forgiveness to myself. I’ll plug in my car, and walk somewhere to get coffee or food. Not caring how disheveled I probably look or how if I keep doing this, I’ll start gaining a reputation in this rural town.
I remind myself that I deserved so much better but I still have a chance. Everyday presents a new opportunity to heal, to learn and grow despite circumstance. To seek revenge, not through vengeance but by living a fufilling life. That cannot be taken from me.
Thank you for reading my mini writing moment.
Also, wanted to provide an update. I have finished a couple of other posts here for the blog, hope you stay tuned for those in the coming weeks!
Thanks,
Illusion